so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
