Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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