I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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