I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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