where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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