I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
