I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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