she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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