Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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