Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
