its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
