Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
