I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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