you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
