hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
