hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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