I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
