I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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