I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
