i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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