ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
