He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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