Small penises have feelings too.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
