White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
