I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
