i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
