Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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