I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
