The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
