I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
