I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
