just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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