We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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