I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize