I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
