Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
