we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
