Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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