you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
