Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
