DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You left your phone here
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