"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
