Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My dick has a subreddit
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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