I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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