I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
