Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
