Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
