but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
