thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
