please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
and you fell through a lawn chair
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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