we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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