Kiss
Puke
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize