people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
