we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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