I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
