I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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