8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i will never coherently bang her
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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