Where did you get a picture of my penis
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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