Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize