Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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