BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
