I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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