Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
